I am not in a good mood tonight; feeling pretty tired in a few different senses of the word. I am physically tired, mentally tired, tired of waiting for things to turn around, tired of Joey being in hospital instead of at home. To name a few.
Today was another so-so day. The stent came out on Friday. Usually it takes a little while for things to settle down after there’s been rooting around in his gut. Things have improved, but only marginally. Basically, he went from feeling like a pile of shit to feeling like a pile of crap. You get the picture. Had plans to go and visit Momma R for lunch today, but when the time came, he just wasn’t feeling up to it. It is so frustrating not being able to guarantee that we’ll both be able to show up to the simplest of activities because it is impossible to predict how he will be feeling at any given moment.
That said, things have been worse. I think we are both just feeling pretty discouraged because he is still in a lot of pain and we’ve been told that this won’t change until he gets a liver transplant. And then we need to have conversations with people about where they are at in their decision making process because time is a factor and if we leave things too long and our original top 3 are not matches, we are back to square one. I don’t want him to die waiting.
How messed up do you have to be for this to happen: went to my first appointment with mental health on Friday. Towards the end of the appointment, my counselor mentioned that he was really busy and on average was booking 2-3 weeks down the road. He then suggests that I book in for Tuesday. Maybe it’s because I told him about this:
Miss February. For the calendar this year, we decided to do a month on living liver transplants. Giant footnote: this picture provides an extremely inaccurate depiction of this procedure. In reality, chloroform is not involved and consent is obtained (although I suspect the cooler might be bang on, but that one was just filled with clam chowder). Nice acting Sue!
Tomorrow will be better.