Who Can? Narcan!

I recently received some well-intentioned feedback on one of my posts that I did not take well. My delay in writing is because I’ve had a hard time getting jumpstarted again.

Dealing with CF is hard. Dealing with the reality of transplant and the possibility of Joey’s life ending is harder. He is a wonderful, positive, outgoing, amazing person. He is the toughest guy I know and is my rock. I can’t imagine my life without him.

Although I am an outgoing person, I am also extremely private with the personal details of my life. This makes the whole blogging thing difficult for me. I do it because I know that people care and want to know what is going on with us.

I am honest in my posts with what I am thinking and feeling. People tell me that they can tell how good or bad things are going based on the tone of my posts, so I do my best to speak how I would as if a close friend were in the room with me. That said, I also like to pretend that no one is reading them because that makes airing the extremely personal details of our lives a lot easier for me. On the flip side, we really enjoy the cynical comments that make us giggle and the love we receive through the mail and internet. It helps to ease the sting of what is happening to us. And there is a lot of sting. Again, and again, and again.

Both Joey and I rely to a large degree on our sense of humor to carry us through the tough times. Our intent with the posts is never to offend or upset anybody. That said, I believe that censoring myself too much makes my posts disingenuous and less candid, which for me kind of defeats the purpose of doing this. Hopefully that makes sense and nobody takes offense. It pretty much comes back to the rules and regulations we laid out on this site when we announced our wedding. (Yes, in true golfer fashion, we had rules and regulations that were laid out prior to our wedding; same goes with the blog).

Moving on. Joey was doing much better yesterday (i.e. breathing more and was more alert. I.e. Not falling asleep 2 sentences into a conversation). His pain drugs have been switched again, so that is likely the culprit for the change. Dosages are being tinkered with slowly so that there isn’t another breathing emergency. Unfortunately, he couldn’t wake up for another period of time this morning and they had to give him narcan again. This was especially scary since he had been totally coherent and speaking to me 10 minutes earlier. The only reason we tried to wake him up was because one of the doctors came in to talk to him. What would have happened if it went undetected? Now Joey is awake and coherent again, but is in a lot of pain. We are all rooting for both his safety and some real pain relief soon.

In donor news, Jackson begins phase 4 of his testing today. Hopefully we’ll be able to visit a bit while he is in town. Can’t wait to sit down with him for a nice glass of chianti.

K & J

4 thoughts on “Who Can? Narcan!

  1. Renee Rose January 31, 2011 / 4:12 pm

    I don’t think we tell you often enough how much we appreciate the time and effort you put into this blog. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!
    I know it makes my life so much easier when I can tell people to just check the blog rather then trying to explain everything over and over.
    Joey is so lucky to have you for his wife and we are super lucky to have you in our family. Love you lots.

    ps. lud

  2. kelvin January 31, 2011 / 5:45 pm

    We all appreciate the time and effort you both put into this blog (Joey when he can), considering everything else you have on your plate. I know how difficult it must be some days to sit down and write in the blog. It is very, very appreciated. Joey is very luck to have you in his life, and so are all of us. I for one check the blog 1st thing in the morning and just before bed.

    I love you both very much and wish the best for you both, You deserve it.

    Love you lots Kelvin

  3. gaskellgang January 31, 2011 / 7:23 pm

    You are amazing and for you to do this for all of us and yourself is sooooooo appreciated. This is read by so many people that love and care for you guys and is our only way to keep connected. We all want the same thing, for Joey to get better.Now tell Mr. Sunshine that we love him……………..and poo poo to the people that dont understand the harsh reality of feelings. Don’t ever stop with the humour I swear it’s healing in itself.
    xoxoxox luv luv luv
    gaskells

  4. Renee Rose February 1, 2011 / 12:27 am

    you re writing kicks ass!

    PS. RAD-G was here!

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