When I woke up this morning, the first thought I had was “I never get to hold Joey again”. This was followed by “Noooooooo!”, also in my head, but this one a part yell/part scream, a refusal to entertain this as reality. I then made a conscious effort to think about something else. Anything else.
I get these thoughts often and they are unbearable. If I stay with them, I lose emotional control and want to give up. It would be easy to do. But since I don’t really feel that’s an option, I try to block those thoughts, even though I know they are the truth.
Living in my head sucks sometimes.