I haven’t had the energy to blog lately; I’ve been quite depressed. Surprise!
Apparently, my treatment plan for the next while is to “suffer”. Sounds harsh, I know, but the logic is that if I don’t let myself flail emotionally now, things will be more drawn out and painful for me in the long run. I’m not allowed to try and fix (as I tend to do), I just have to stay with it and scream and howl. I have to allow myself to feel (as if I weren’t enough already). To hyperventilate on the floor of the shower and sob uncontrollably. On the whole, the latest stint of my life has not been fun.
That said, I was given permission to have semi-reprieve from suffering and make a trip to the island to celebrate something that was actually happy. Cousin Shelley graduated from esthetics school on Wednesday and I am very proud. Photos to follow later. Coming to the island also gave me the chance to catch up with some good friends who I haven’t seen in way too long. There’s been a lot of talking and a lot of tears, as there tends to be when I’m around. So much for a break from suffering.
Aren’t I a hoot?