I got an email the other day from a friend of mine whose wife passed away from CF (she died on the waiting list for transplant in BC). He noted that I seem to be hitting a rough patch and guessed that the stress of wondering what Christmas will be like is probably hitting me hard. He’s got that right. That’s part of it anyway. The other part is just straight up missing Joey, but I don’t think Christmas is helping. The suffering regime is in full effect.
I wish I could hit the fast forward button and come out on the other side okay. Fast forward through Christmas, fast forward through the pain, fast forward through figuring out what I’m going to do for the rest of my life. Fast forward to see if I turn out okay.
I think it’s time for another reprieve from suffering.