I went back to St. Paul’s yesterday. I had some movies that hadn’t made it back to the CF resource room after Joey died. I also wanted to see the CF clinic staff and drop off some treats for the people who have to be in hospital over Christmas. I’ve been having a hard time forcing myself to walk through the doors and Christmas served as a convenient cut point. It was hard, but I’m glad I went. I had a good talk/cry with the people there.
It was a weird place to go back to. That said, it was also a weird place to stay away from; I’ve been going there since I was 18. I know the hallways well. The chronically slow elevators, the familiar faces of the staff and patients, the view outside when you finally get to the floor where you are going. When the doors opened on 7 and I didn’t have to get out, I stifled a cry. Why does he have to be gone? I can’t believe this happened.
I’m glad I went back. The feeling that I had to do so has been looming for quite a while. I’m sure I’ll be back again.
Lucky for me, I then got to drive out to Coquitlam and have a lightening visit with Rylie and Brendan. We had a great time grabbing a quick bite, doing some last minute Christmas shopping, and horsing around in the mall.
Back in PR now to ride out the rest of Christmas.