Anyone else find it amusing that I have more in common with the women in that last newspaper article than I do with people my own age? Told you it was useful.
In my second attempt to make our wedding anniversary as un-shitty as possible, I adopted a philosophy that was showcased on the TV series Parks and Recreation. It’s best explained by this:
Here is my version:
Just in case. As it turned out, the gin wasn’t necessary, but served as an excellent security blanket. Ditto to the chips. Never hurts to be prepared.
My version of treat yo self essentially involved taking the entire day off of doing school work (a feat not yet achieved since I started this program). Exercise: check. Junk food: check. Booze: check but not necessary or consumed. Jewelry making: check. Movie: check. Tears: check.
It is what it is. From now on I’m giving myself permission to do whatever the hell I want for our anniversary. Ditto for his birthday. If you didn’t pick up on that already.
Oh yeah, I also got myself some flowers that are pretty darn close to the ones I had at our wedding. Or rather, the ones that Joey had:
Damn I love that man.
Okay, so it would seem that a few people are still actually following this thing. Who knew? One of them sent me the following article:
Interesting concept and I certainly see the benefit. There is some serious value in that. I have gained a lot from some of the people who I have talked to that have survived this experience. On the flip side, in some respects it reminds me of the physio room in Toronto. Joey and I were the youngest people in there by about 30-40 years. It was isolating in a way. Too many times, our concerns about him either dying on the list or after the surgery were met with comments like “You’re young, you’ll be fine” by the other patients. Not all, but more than a few. Kind of nullifies the validity of our experience and shows an obvious lack of understanding about Cystic Fibrosis. You ain’t necessarily gonna be fine when the median age of death is 37. It’s interesting how some people make weird competitions out of things when they should be supporting each other.
Any-hoo, the widow article reminded me of those experiences in some respects. It got me thinking about a) how out of place I would look in that picture and b) how some people tend to slough off the experience of me losing my husband by encouraging comments like “You’re young. You’ll meet someone else”. Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, Joey is irreplaceable. Hands down.
Bitch, bitch, bitch. Maybe I’m just grumpy because it’s our anniversary on Saturday and he’s dead.
Where my childless, young widows at?
Seriously though, thanks for the article. I liked it and it’s a smart idea.
Doubtful that anyone’s still checking the blog, but just in case you are, I thought I’d share this very important article:
Some of the factors listed contributed to Joey’s death. I can’t change our outcome, but hope that by raising awareness about it, maybe things will be different for other people in the future.
That’s about all I can muster for now.